|Fast and French, Charleston, SC © Doug Hickok|
Tahiti is missing. Rumors abound that it has been secretly placed in a witness protection program. The island paradise is likely hidden in a secluded safe house that is perhaps disguised as a cafe or boutique. Furthermore, Tahiti may have changed its appearance and assumed an alias. (This could mean curtains for Tahitian vacations).
Sources say such an elaborate scheme may be the result of an ongoing investigation into tourist laundering by a neighboring island paradise, Bora Bora, which has allegedly made unspecified threats against Tahiti, its chief rival. Details remain nebulous. Speculation runs rampant.